This post could also be titled: “Why I Didn’t Go Into Labour During the Worst Team-Building Exercise Ever!”
If everyone in your business agrees on everything, all the time—chances are, you’re missing something.
Healthy disagreement isn’t a sign of dysfunction; it’s a sign of engagement. It means your team is thinking critically, challenging ideas, and pushing for better solutions. The best businesses don’t avoid conflict—they harness it.
Yet, many leadership teams fall into the trap of Skilled Incompetence—a term coined by Chris Argyris, that I first heard in 2009 which I think is a fabulous way of describing highly capable professionals who prioritise agreement and compromise over real debate. On the surface, this creates harmony, but underneath, it stifles innovation, waters down bold decisions, and leads to groupthink.
The Power of Healthy Friction
When I worked in the US, I was part of a leadership team with strong personalities and diverse perspectives. Our CEO actively encouraged us to air our differences. In fact, we once had an incredibly awkward (and borderline traumatic) away day in Keystone, where we weren’t allowed to say anything positive about each other. Instead, we had to name at least one issue we had with every single member of the board.
I was pregnant at the time, and as a naturally diplomatic Brit, I’m amazed I didn’t go into labour—it was that stressful!
But something incredible happened.
Once we got over the discomfort (after the exercise I might add), we rallied together (mostly about the cruelty of being made to do it). But we soon realised that now we had our issues on the table, we could tackle them head-on, and we moved forward as a much more united front.
The agreement we made that day was simple but powerful:
- We would challenge each other openly in the boardroom—welcoming healthy frictionto refine ideas.
- But once a decision was made, we all stood by it.
This approach transformed us into the best-performing leadership team in North America.
Three Essentials for Embracing Conflict in Your Business
- Clarity on the Common Goal – Disagreements derail progress when people don’t understand what they’re working towards. When the destination is clear, debate becomes about the best route to get there—not whether you should be on the journey at all.
- The Right Environment – If people fear speaking up, bad ideas go unchallenged and good ideas go unheard. Creating a culture where different viewpoints are encouraged ensures that challenges become constructive rather than personal.
- A Process for Resolution – Debates are valuable, but endless disagreements kill momentum. Having a framework for decision-making ensures that once a discussion has been had, action can follow.
The Danger of ‘Yes-People’
If you’re surrounded by people who agree with everything you say, be worried. The best teams don’t avoid disagreement—they lean into it.
I was lucky that some of my early bosses (including the “away day genius”) encouraged me to say what I thought…not what I thought they wanted to hear. They taught me how valuable that was to a leader.
Consequently, it is something I value and encourage in my own teams – even if sometimes it’s difficult to hear!
Avoid Skilled Incompetence at all costs. Encourage real debate, push for healthy friction, and make sure your leadership team isn’t just saying what they think you want to hear.
Because if you don’t challenge each other inside the business, rest assured—your customers and your competitors will do it for you.
And if you need help creating an environment for that, look for third party support.
What’s the best business decision you’ve made because someone challenged your thinking? Let me know—I’d love to hear your stories.
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Want to know a bit more about me?
With 25 years of leadership experience spanning the UK, USA, and Europe, I’ve built a career on driving growth, creating high-performing teams, and developing innovative strategies for businesses of all sizes. My journey started in the early 2000s when I identified a gap in the UK food market, leading to a £12M p.a. product line—a testament to my ability to blend data, creativity, and tenacity to deliver results. And I love to do this with my clients.
Over the years, I’ve held director and VP roles for multinational companies, overseeing marketing, sales, business development, e-commerce, and innovation. My executive MBA in Leadership & Innovation from the University of Missouri, Kansas City, gave me the tools to think globally and lead strategically. (I even managed to graduate top of my class while balancing coursework and becoming a mum!)
From managing a €330M Health & Wellness strategy across continents to winning contracts like supplying Team GB with apparel for Rio, I’ve learned the value of shared values, teamwork, and a clear vision. I now use this knowledge at SUMMIT, where I guide businesses to find their direction, build empowered teams, and align with their dream customers.
I bring enterprise-level expertise to businesses of all sizes in ways that are accessible, actionable, and impactful. Whether it’s helping a company refine its strategy, uncover new opportunities, or foster a resilient community, I’m passionate about helping leaders unlock sustainable growth.
A confident speaker and trusted resource, I regularly share insights with my community, focusing on topics like high performing teams, strategic clarity, and the power of values-driven leadership. Together, we can take your business to new heights
